To say that the past week and half has been the worst in my life, would be a huge understatement. I learned some news about my health that took me by complete surprise. A blow to the stomach. I've experienced so many emotions from shock, denial, anger, hurt, fear and still go through it all.
Then the questions: Why God? Why me? What did I do to get this? I am trying my best to not question God. I know there are things that happen that we can not explain. But they happen for a reason.
My faith in God and His word over my life has been seriously put to the test. But I know, that He is there for me and His love couldn't be stronger. Our families have been there supporting us through words and actions. I have not really had the best relationship with my mother. It's always been "special". But since the diagnosis, our relationship has made a complete 180.
He has put church family in my life that have been a huge support system for me and S during this time. There prayer and support has meant so much to us. A couple that we are close to from church have seriously gone over and beyond our expectations, and I couldn't be more grateful to have them in our lives.
In this short time (although it feels like an eternity) I have had a huge change in perspective and reevaluated what is important in my life. My relationship with God and my family. It's unfortunate that it takes a life changing event to learn these things. But I thank God that I have the chance to learn and change. Although this will not always be easy, and sometimes the sunshine won't be shining, I will find rest in Him. I know He is my healer and strength.